Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda
by leshamarieinuyasha
Summary: Inuyasha has made the biggest mistake of his life. Will it cost him the one he loves? A song fic based around the song Shoulda by Hinder. Hope you like and please review!


_**So I've been listening to Hinder lately and I can't get one of their song's out of my head. Not that I have a problem with that…but I thought maybe you'd enjoy another Inuyasha fanfic. Hope you like the song and short story!! Please Review!!**_

_**Disclaimer: Nope I don't own Inuyasha. I also don't own the song Shoulda by Hinder.**_

_**Lyrics- Bold italics **_

**Thoughts- Bold **

_Flashbacks- Italics _

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_**Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda : An Inuyasha Dedication**_

_**Before I hung up the phone **_

_**All I could hear**_

_**Was the dial tone ring in my ear**_

He was lying on the couch when it happened. The day his life fell apart, busted at the seems, and shattered over the course of eternity. What could he have done to alter these sudden change in events? Maybe returned three little words to her awaiting ears. She had caught them for the millionth time; alone together tangled up in HER bed sheets. This hadn't been the first time she discovered them there in bed together, his past lover had been making an appearance to their household more frequently but she always refrained herself from saying something about it. She'd only let off an insignificant smile, turn her back, and act as if nothing had happened. As if another woman was not lying in HER bed with HER man. Maybe she didn't want to face the conflict that was sure to come after the dark haired mistress had gone back to her own home. Maybe she didn't want to relive the massacre that was tearing her relationship with the only man she had ever loved to shreds. What ever the reason she let the incident repeat itself until one day she just upped and left; no bags in her hand back to the wind.

_She could hear the springs bouncing in the bedroom; her boyfriend's moans echoing throughout her ears and the other woman's shrieks sounding on high like an angel's choir. Taking a cautious step forward, raven hair shifting softly behind her, she reaches for the door knob feeling the room's vibrations. Holding her breathe she turns the knob, shards of the hallways light entering their dark moist haven. Looking into the dark carefully she finds the offenders covered up in damp sheets; beads of sweat slowly trailing down their chests and foreheads. Looking at the handsome god she had once given all of her heart to tears spring into her eyes. Holding her breath and then looking to the door away from the heart wrenching sight, she leisurely makes her escape his hand reaching out towards her. Closing the bedroom door, tightly held sobs escape her throat as she runs into the bathroom. She can hear his footsteps advancing as she presses her back to the wooden door; the only barrier she has to block out the pain. _

"_Baby, I know what you're thinking but you don't honestly think I still have feelings for her do you?" His voice questions penetrating the tiny barrier she's placed between them._

"_I don't know. I got a pretty good glimpse of what you feel for Kikyou back in OUR bedroom!" Her screams sending vibrations throughout her shattered core._

"_So what are you going to do now? Are you just going to up and leave me?" He asks feeling the guilt of the past weeks finally catch up with him._

"_I have to do what's best for me. I've tried living with you and your lies, and frankly it's just not working out." She responds a deep hatred in her voice._

"_Kagome, you can't leave. I need you here." He pleads knees crashing against the hardwood floor._

"_Good-bye, Inuyasha." She whispers slipping out the bathroom's narrow window._

That was the last time he had seen her before she disappeared. Her voice no longer filling their household; filling his heart with hope and encouragement. She was gone and it was all his fault. His lies in fact not lies at all she had known he'd been lying all along. Kikyou his past had destroyed his future with her seductive ways and guiltless curves. Why had it ended this way? Thrusting his face into his hands for the thousandth time, tears consuming his golden orbs, he fell back onto the couch they had first made love on. The pleasure he had felt with her was something out of this world. Why had he been so easily led into temptation? Why hadn't he come to realize that everything he had ever wanted was right there in front of him? Suddenly there was a ring of a cell phone; HER personalized ring tone he had set to his phone. Scrambling to flip it open he finally pressed her voice to his awaiting ear.

"_Kagome, is that you?" Inuyasha questions frantically._

"_It's me." Kagome answers her voice so soft his hanyou ears can barely pick it up._

"_Kagome…Kagome, I'm so sorry. You didn't even come close to deserving what I've done to you. I've been such a fool." Inuyasha sobs into the receiver._

"_Inuyasha…" Kagome breathes listening to him crack._

"_Let me finish. Kagome, you are so perfect, and I don't even come close to deserving you. But I can't help but to ask for you back. Please Kagome I'll do anything!" Inuyasha pleads pain coursing throughout his strangled voice._

"_I love you." Kagome murmurs before the sickening sound of a dial tone._

"_Kagome? Kagome? KAGOME!!" Inuyasha screams as the phone slips out of his hand and onto the wooden floor. _

_**If I could go back in time **_

_**I'd say those three words **_

_**I shoulda, woulda, coulda said it back to you**_

"**You've really messed up this time haven't you?"** His brain screamed echoing in the hollow space. **"You should write a book. How to completely destory the best relationship you've ever had over the course of one month."**

Since the phone call Inuyasha hadn't heard from Kagome for sometime. Calling up her family, her friends, everyone she had come into contact with no one would give him any answers. The mention of her name sent a look of agony across their once peaceful faces. She had been their everything, and he had obliterated everything she had once been. Taking away her smile, her bright eyes, her warm gentle nature. He had turned her into something society didn't want to mention. They wanted to keep her locked away in the shadows so thoughts of a broken and neglected heart would not enter their feeble headed minds. Looking through the old photo albums that hadn't been touched since she left him there in that house alone with Kikyou, Inuyasha flips through the lightly faded pages. Coming across a tattered photograph he gently cradles the ruminates of Kagome in his hands. Her beautiful white toothed smile glistening even on a cloudy day. Her ebony locks of hair twisted and tangled by the wind sprinkled with droplets of the light rain shower they had ran mocha eyes just a distant memory now still filled with life; life and love meant only for him. On her finger the engagement ring she had been so thrilled to receive. He had promised to marry her on the sands of that beautiful beach out in Monaco Cove; the place their lips had touched for the first time. Wiping the tears from his eyes he placed the photograph in the front pocket of his shirt.

"**I'm so sorry, Kagome. I'm so sorry for everything I've done to you. Please forgive me. Please forgive me and come back home. I love you. I love you so much." **He rioted thoughts concealed by his thick skulled barrier. **"Please come home so I can tell you I love you like I should have." **

_**And this can't be saved **_

_**If you can't be found **_

_**You hung up and left me for dead on the ground **_

_**You didn't even say goodbye **_

_**I shoulda, woulda, coulda, said it back to you **_

_**I shoulda, woulda, coulda, said it back to you **_

She was delicate like a flower. Only able to say and do so much. Her heart always open shut now like a casket come to take her away to that heavenly white obis in the sky. Lying on the floor of her new found haven of whisky and crystal she closes those now listless mocha orbs drifting slowly in and out of reality. Her cell phone ringing, another call to cast away into the dark. His voice on trapped in her inbox, so she can have another reason to take a sip of that deadly pleasure. **I love you **had been her final words to him; wither or not it was the truth at least he would remember her for the way she was. Not some passed out drug addict slowly wasting away to a corpse.

_**Now that you're gone **_

_**I'm wasting away **_

_**The life has been siphoned right out of my veins**_

_The sun was slowly coming up over the hills; light shedding into the small living room casting shadows this way and that. The couch that had been bounding up and down off the floor was silent, almost dead, as if it had never been touched. Her heaving body on top of his exulted one.__This was a major mile stone in their relationship as a couple; they had finally made love faithfully for the first time. Her hair covering his chest and his lips brazing the skin of her breasts their eyes lock full of content. His beautiful blazing amber gaze clashing with her elaborate muddy mocha one. Lifting his lips off her soft, tender, sensual skin he captures her lips in a passionate kiss. Snaking her long toned arms around his neck, gorgeous diamond engagement ring glistening in the radiance of the sun, Kagome pulls her self deeper into the kiss. _

"_Is it true that your first time is always the best?" Kagome asks sweet innocence dripping off her captured lips._

"_Most cases yes; not for me though." Inuyasha replies holding her middle possessively to his own._

"_The first time you made love was not you favorite time. One you'll cherish forever." Kagome whispers suddenly coming to the realization she wasn't his first._

"_This is the time I'll cherish above all others. With you I feel like it's my first. You're the one I want to share my life with." Inuyasha murmurs pressing his lips firmly to her forehead._

"_I want to share my life with you too for you own it now." Kagome smiles acknowledging the mate's bite on the junction between her shoulder and neck._

"_That I do. You own me as well, every little part." Inuyasha smirks thrusting into her gaining a sharp moan._

"_Never forget that." Kagome moans as the ritual plays over for a second time._

"**If you own me Kagome come back and claim me as your own." **Inuyasha sobs feeling the droplets of tears slip down his cheeks and onto the couch cushions.

"**If you loved me Inuyasha then why didn't you keep me to yourself? Why'd you have to share what's mine with someone else." **Kagome slurs glass shattering hot alcohol dripping into the floors cracks.

_**If I could go back in time **_

_**I'd say those three words **_

_**I shoulda, woulda, coulda said it back to you **_

Picking up her cell phone she listened to the sweet sounds of his voice. The way he sounded so pained and yet so peaceful at the same time. Maybe it was her inability to tell the difference between reality and fiction. Whatever the reason she had convinced herself that these words slipping off those beautiful velvet appendages were all lies. Nothing he could say or do was going to bring her back from this immensely pleasurable high. She'd let the addiction take over her body, mind, and soul. He could have whatever fraction remained. The message reapeating it's self another time, **I love you** ringing in her ears, Kagome closed the phone.

"**It's much too late to tell me that now, Inuyasha." **She sighed slipping away into the dark. **"I'm already gone."**

_**And this can't be saved **_

_**If you can't be found **_

_**You hung up and left me for dead on the ground **_

_**You didn't even say good-bye**_

_**I shoulda, woulda, coulda said it back to you **_

_**I shoulda, woulda, coulda said it back to you **_

A year gone by, a crushing phone call on the couch, and the ending of all life as he knew it. Sango, her best friend, gave him the news. They had found her in the back allies a whisky bottle in one hand, and a note for him in the other. She had lost her life due to the combination of alcohol, crystal, and a broken heart. The news colliding with his sensitive appendages on top of his head caused him to hit the floor. A failure to cope with lust leading to the death of the only woman he had actually given a shit about. The cell smashing into what seemed like a thousand pieces was lost; her voice still ringing in his ears. **I love you**; three words he hadn't returned in time to save her. Three words he had promised her and only her crushed into a fine dust not longer existent in his vocabulary. It was over; everything he had worked so hard to achieve dead and gone.

_**When you said those three words**_

_**I kind of freaked out **_

_**When you said them first **_

_**My jaw hit the ground **_

First or last time she had been sincere. She was always open and truthful with him up until the time of her death.

_Dear Inuyasha, _

_I wrote this while I was sober, so it has to amount to something. You should know that when I called you that night, it was a farewell call. This had been my intention all along. I was going to kill myself eventually because I didn't know how else I could cope. I loved you, and you betrayed me. You took back your first love and slept with her in __OUR__ bed. I guess when you told me our love you'd always cherish it was a lie. I didn't write this letter to blame, only to let you know how I feel. I also thought that I'd let you know although my heart no longer has a beat, it will always spiritually beat for you. You are no longer mine, but I'll always belong to you. I have the scar to prove it, remember. Farewell Inuyasha. I love you._

_Yours Forever_

_Kagome _

_**I shoulda, coulda, woulda said it back to you **_

_**And this can't be saved **_

_**If you can't be found **_

_**You hung up and left me for dead on the ground **_

_**You didn't even say goodbye **_

"**Although you're no longer with us, you're still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." **Inuyasha whispered to the motionless corpse lying in the casket.

"**If only you'd told me that forever ago." **Her voice now just a distant memory.

"**I love you."** Inuyasha murmured before she was lowered into the ground.

"**Goodbye."** She floated away into the obis soon anticipating his arrival.

_**And this can't be saved **_

_**And this can't be saved **_

_**If you can't be found **_

_**If you can't be found **_

_**I shoulda, woulda, coulda said it back to you **_

_**I shoulda, woulda, coulda said it back to you**_

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Sad right. I hope you liked it though. Please review!!


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